They say opposites attract, and although there is truth to that it begs the question, how do they ever come to a major decision…say, like buying a home together? With varying tastes and needs, is it really possible to find a place that both people love? Thankfully the answer is yes. Odd couples find their perfect homes everyday and you can as well.
Nobody has the exact same vision of the perfect home. Couples that are spitting images of one another often have difficulties coming to an agreement as well. It just tends to be a little more exacerbated for odd couples.
So if you feel like you’re in this type of relationship, here are four simple tips to help you and your partner navigate buying a home together:
1. Make sure there are no ‘major‘ conflicts of interest
I was recently told a story involving a retired couple who were looking to buy a new home. The husband, who was an extremely successful builder during his career, wanted a ‘fixer-upper’ where he could design and build he and his wife the perfect home. The wife however, having probably lived through countless home projects, really wanted something ‘turn-key’. After all, these were her retirement years and she just wanted to relax and not be forced to live in a constant construction zone.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce the outcome. When they were shown a beautiful modern home that the wife loved, the husband wanted absolutely nothing to do with it, and vice versa.
It’s important to make sure you’re not at complete odds with your partner. If you’re dead set on a bungalow in Etobicoke and your partner is adamant about a two-storey home in Central Toronto, there’s nothing even the best Realtor in the world can do to make both parties happy. Until you pass this ‘pre-test’ of sorts, there is absolutely no point in moving forward. It would simply be an exercise in futility.
2. Start wide, narrow down
As a single buyer, one need only search for the place they envision in their own mind. Once a second person is involved, it becomes much more difficult to envision the ‘perfect’ home for both. Even if you’re in tune with your partner, nobody can see the world through someone else’s eyes.
That’s why it’s best to start your home search by casting a wide net. Try a wide variety of neighbourhoods or styles of homes. For example, you may both find a certain neighbourhood intriguing, and one that you otherwise wouldn’t have considered if you were buying for just yourselves. Remember, nothing is set in stone and adjustments can always be made.
If you start too narrow you may become frustrated by the lack of options (and buying is hard enough as it is these days) and you’re denying yourselves the chance to explore other great options in our city. This isn’t a track meet, it’s a marathon. Be patient.
3. Sacrifice, but not too much.
Buyers’ wish-lists are almost always extensive and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, when you add a second person’s wish-list into the equation it sometimes can become a daunting task.
It’s always my goal to find a home for my clients that hits every single mark. However, the reality is that in some cases, the described home with every single wish simply doesn’t exist. And even if there are a few potential candidates, there’s still the small matter of procuring it in today’s market, which is no small feat.
In the end you may find yourself willing to sacrifice on some of your previous wishes. For example, say you wanted an outdoor pool as one of the amenities in a condo building you’re searching for. You find a condo building that your partner adores, and that you generally adore, but instead of an outdoor pool, it only has an indoor pool or no pool at all. Is having an outdoor pool THAT important to you? If yes, then you should probably keep looking. If not, you’d be wise to strongly consider making an offer.
That being said, don’t sacrifice too much because BOTH partners should love their new home. Personally, I’m not going to sleep well knowing one of my clients got everything they wanted, while the other one was forced to make all kinds of concessions. Sooner or later it will likely be a source of friction, and nobody wants that.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
It sounds cliche, but great communication is paramount in any successful partnership. It’s important to not hold back your true feelings during this process. If there’s something you really like or that completely turns you off, share that information. It’s better you have the conversation prior to signing on the dotted line, as opposed to when it’s too late.
Don’t forget to include your Realtor in these discussions. Information is power and this will help your Realtor find the right home for you. Never feel guilty about voicing any displeasures you might have about a home, or even the process…it’s our job to listen. We see all kinds of homes in all kinds of conditions on a daily basis, and have pretty much seen and heard it all!
So remember, even the oddest couple should be able to find a great home that suits both of their needs and tastes. We’re fortunate to live in a city with so many great neighbourhoods and styles of homes, so get out there and explore them. If you follow these four simple tips, you’ll be on the right track. And if you feel like you could use an honest Realtor to help find you the perfect home, I’m always happy to help.